Caught Hot Fuzz with beloved Kareen at Lido yesterday after she finished work. Was a really nice show. Akin to those detective (lyk, that Kindaichi "Kin Tian Yi" shows I've watched when I was much younger?). Nice plot & funny acting. Hahas. There's this guy in the show who reminds me of myself back in school - always bombarding my teachers with incessant questions. Oh well, but he was much much worse though. Lol. Interesting character. =)

The main lead, Nicholas Angel, played by Simon Pegg if i'm not wrong, was a highly-intuitive sergeant. Goodness. I would liken him to Prison Break's Wentworth Miller (Michael Scofield), who was able to look decipher the micro-mechanisms behind those machinery? mmm. The former was able to gather evidences & lay the jigsaw pieces in their places. Such a talent is amazing. Woah. Sherlock Holmes. hahas.

Anyway, Reen was nice enough to lend me her jacket when I asked for it. Which kinda surprised me, cos I had thought I would freeze in the cinema, since she would feel colder than me on other occasions. hahas. Thanks Reen =P Yes, appreciated - how can i ever thank you enough for all the things you've done for me? And not to say, the movie was a treat from Reen. Hees. She had some vouchers from buying her dunno-how-many (was it 7?) mega-pixels-digicam, and had aske dme go watch movie wif her. Honoured. Hahas. =P

After movie, we went to have supper. Rojak! not bad la. Just that I thought it would be nicer with more chilli? (But cos was sharing wif reen so couldn't add extra; she can't take too hot stuffs. hee)

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Aiyo! Having to coordinate outings & stuff has become a chore to me. Doh. Especially if some parties do not reply to ur msg, or are indecisive. Alamak. Can faint ar. Quite bothersome ya? Going out in a group is quite troublesome, since the decision-making process will be so ... (yes, once again) troublesome, especially if you're pretty democratic. I so believe that I will be catching movie with Kareen only this Sat.... hahas. Can't help but wonder how come suddenly I have to do the liaising. But well, I'll try. =P

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Going for camp assignment tmr - Ping Yi Sec. Hahas. Was so surprised that Camp HA (stand for High Achievers) called me as well, since it was donkey yrs ago when I joined camp HA as a part-time camp instructor (stringent process!). But anyways, am suppose to go down for pre-camp brief later. Hope all turns out well for the camp? Am very excited for it, since I haven't run a camp in ages, the last of which was when I was in Sec 4 (2004)? Oh man. Yes, let's pray hard that all will be fine. hee hee hee. I miss camping!!! [in any case, actually had intended to do back-packing travel b4 uni..budden it seems lyk rather impossible already =SSSSSS]

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Went bk to my JC to collect me Graduation & A Level Cert. Don't really like this blotch there. Argh. If only..... Nahs. Forget it. It's ok. Done my best. =) Mmm. AJC has changed! Cleaner, newer canteen, cos the sch spent an amount on upgrading the compound. hahas. Goodness! wanted to eat so many things that kept me alive during the 2 yrs in AJ! budden due to limited capacity in my digestive chambers/ tracts (or wadeva u call them), I decided to taste once again, my favourite food from the Noodles store - Won Ton Mee! heee heee heee. Had the soup version wif lotsa chillies. omg! Heavenly! Bleah. Missed that taste so much lars. Had originally wanted to try the hor fun, budden was pretty full after devouring the wonton mee. So only took the Ice Jelly instead, with extra jellies at that! Muahahas!

Taking into consideration that it was the exam period for JCs, I decided not to stroll ard the compound. Not nice to be disturbing/ distracting the students ya. In the end, I went off without meeting any of the teachers that taught me! Wasted. mmm.

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All ryteees. Shall end off this entry here. Update again. Hee!

If I should ever die or disappear from you one day, will you shed a tear for me? Will you remember me? The smiles on my face, the jokes that I crack, the sorrows contained deep within, the achivements that I have, the care & concern showered upon you? Who on this earth will care?

Disappointment. It all boils down to expectations. Maybe I have expected too much. Under-achievement. Terrible thoughts been surging; on the uprisings recently. Was just pondering over if people will remember the things I've done for them, especially if I had gone the extra mile just for them. Will my friends/family ever appreciate what I've done?

Much as I tell myself not to expect any rewards (a simple Thank You isn't too much to ask for, or is it?), I can't help but feel that I have been taken for granted recently. Actually, all i ever asked for was a simple "Thank you" but why is it that in our society, such gratituity is so scarce for us to see? Had some issues over this, & am grappling with coming to terms with it. Guess I really have to learn to just "heck care". Push those nasty thoughts aside - but it's not very healthy isn't it?

Talked to my mummy about it. Was told, "only closer frens who are already very used to u will skip these formalities. If they thank you for this or that, am sure you will feel weird also, no?" Well, I think the answer is a no-no. "Thank-you"s are my staple phrases, and I make an effort to thank those who have helped me. And I make my appreciation known. I mean, I say thank you, and i mean it. Some people say it, yet do not mean it, while others do not say at all. As such, sometimes i feel under-appreciated. Lyk, they do not care about my existence, & that my company is not important.

It's especially sad to know that those closest to your heart are the ones who make you feel unappreciated. It hurts.

Ouch.

OMG! Been busy working, clearing up the final 3 days at work (Mon - Wed) at UPS House and then catching up with Great Singapore Sale that I haven't had the time to update my blog! =P mmm... Alryte, make things short & sweet, summarise what I have been thru this whole week:



Mon: Was in such a good mood because it's my final week at work that I took too long a tym to prepare myself for work!!! omg. in the end, i had to take a cab down to Pasir Ris in order to catch the ocmpany bus. hahas. waste money =SSS actually, it's bcos of the sch holidays... Think Transit changed the bus schedule during this June due to lesser commuters (Primarily Meridian JCians on bus no. 3, which i take to Pasir Ris from my house). Thus, I could not once catch the exact timing of the bus lor! So it's lyk, always miss the bus, otherwise is super early. hahas. anyways, was clearing up & packing my stuff from office home. hahas. So many things! Terrible ar.



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Tue: Had dumplings for breakfast at home. Upon reaching my workplace, i was hungry again and so, i bought the kaya bread from the canteen, tgt wif soya bean milk. hee. Nice!!! After work, wnt to take passport size photo for my Uni Matric Cards & stuffs (application for camps, etc). Inflation taking a toll! $6.50 for only 4 pcs. omg. not enough for my usage! hahas.




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Wed: Last day at work!!! The things had to clear nv seemed to be ending! Had a work review with my Immediate supervisor today & realised that we actually appreciated each other quite alot. hee! She praised me la, n lyk a typical Leo, I was in great spirits. lol. Yup. Had lunch with my IS & 2 other close colleagues in HR, Li Ping & Janice at Shine Cafe, at the Builders' Centre. Very nice!!! Treat from my IS. Nice of her. =P Here're some pics. 1st pic is me wimmy IS, and the 2nd one is me wif Liping & Janice... =)

Am glad that I chose to work at UPS instead of taking up the job offer of being a sales & marketing executive with another company a few months ago. Rmb i was actually caught in a bad dilemma due to my indecisiveness.

Speaking of which (lemme side-track a little), I must say i've really mellowed into someone who dusen lyk to make decisions too often now... Is it good? I'm not too sure.. Budden it's lyk, I dun rly lyk to decided where to go, wad to eat, etc. Unless! I dun wanna go to the place my frens suggested, or eat what they suggested. Mmm! Then i'll voice out. hee. I liked to be controlled. Nono, I like pp to ask me for my opinions, but not ask me to make decisions. hee hee. understand the difference? Lol. asking for opinions means u respect the person, n it's polite of u to ask him/her for opinions, and that u trust that person's taste/decision. Budden... When it comes to making decision, I've come to realise that I dun rly lyk to do that now... Even when it comes to skipping modules in Business In NBS, I'll hafta think through, ask ard for opinions. Mmm... Budden hor. I think I du nlyk to make decisions only for certain things la. I make my own decisions for most of the things that occur in my life. hee.

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Thur: Went shopping in town alone!! muahahas. Kareen, my best shopping karki wasn't available. In formal wear due to work & wasn't feeling too well to accompany me so in the end I decided to shop alone. My JC frens weren't free too. hahas. either working still, or.. ya. still working still.. bleah =P Was nice not having to work up so early! hahas. i think i slept all the way till ard 11am! hahas. or 10 plus. cannot rmb. but i rmb i slept until...too "full" dat i had to get up & move. dat's woah~! hahahs. a long-lost feeling! hee hee hee... yup. I shopped ard town & saw this Armani Exchange tee on 20% discount! Had an urge to buy it, budden decided against it... since i had already spent quite alot recently. hees. But! I went on to buy a Guess Wallet (madison series)! Happy! cos i've another item to add to my Guess collection.. (haf i mentioned that my current craze is wif Guess? yup. N handbags, heels & watches too! intending to get a white/pink/blue Baby G watch that i spotted while shopping ard in the near future. hee.)

Anyways, i also applied for Hostel Accomodation at NTU Halls of Residence. Sharing a room wif Germaine, a very nice colleague whom i knew at UPS (such a fate we haf! hahas. Nice gurl she is... Graduated from Business from NP, but gg to take Sociology in NTU. One yr older than me, but u noe wad? I think we can get along pretty well! Fun-loving, etc, not to mention that she loves mahjong too! hahas.)

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Fri: Went for medical check up @ NTU today. Alrtye, if u're having ur meal or wad, pls refrain from reading on as I'm gonna talk abt ... Urine. (alryte, now that u've been pre-warned, lemme go on...) Had to collect my urine! lol. for the first tym in my whole life, i was asked to collect my urine. so my mind went blank for awhile. rmb i was thinking, "but i'm not a guy!" hahas! budden hey! i was fine lor. managed to collect it w/o spilling n stuff ok. hahs. (congratulate me! bleah). ya. anw, all was fine la. went bk to sengkang for home tuition for abt 2 hrs? yup yup. N called Jacqueline up to ask if she wanna meet up.. hee hee. In the end, we went Vivocity!!!! =P woah! had the super Ma La Mian from the Food Republic. OMG! Fabulous man!!!! $4, and trust me, it was hotter than the Volcano Ramen at Ajisen. (Laykoon! U should try this out gurl!) Very very very hot/spicy! hahas. but i didn't drink any water throughout the whole meal. Just that after i finished up the whole bowl, I extinguished the fire wif Ice Kachang (shared wif Jacqueline). Amazing Noodles.

Went on to shop around... Then i came across Armani Exchange again! so i popped in for a look. At vivo's AX, there was an entirely differenet collection! I tried on a few pcs & decided to get one of which i thought (n jac thought so too) was rather nice! Well, n i thought the design and the brand justified the price as well? hee hee. Yup! =PPP

Bought jelly-making ingredients from Giant! muahahas. intending to make jelly this weekend. N yes, it's pineapple flava! =P hahas. bought the lime flava one as well, along wif some marshmallows for my choc fondue (yes, it's decadence i noe... oops.)! Guess who's gonna taste my jellies? hee hee hee!

Oh ya! was at Candy Empire also. Bought Choc cookies! =P Tsk tsk tsk. What can i say? Decandence, decadence & decadence still. hee! Reached home at ard 9pm plus? yup yup. watched Ghost whisperer at 10pm. Some funny man (Mr T) msged me to call him, saying dat he cudn't read my msg. duh! I feel for his trick! =SSSS

Anyways, I had a really enjoyable week!!!! Hope this euphoria will last throughout this period... All the way till I enter Uni!!! =P


*And yes! I'm starting to be a good gurl all over again - cutting down on Clubbing! (partly also bcos i dun wanna hear my mummy scream n scream too. LOL.)

Blah! Went MOS (Ministry of Sound) yst nyte wif kareen. hahas. Songs there were pretty nice! =P Great mixture of R&B (we were in Smoove) & yea, transitions were smooth. Atmosphere was better than expected, considering that it was pouring last nyte. lol. Took a cab down from esplanade (we club-hopped from DXO to MOS) & concluded that the cabbie was a freak! OMG. From the heavy downpour, he started complaining & boasting of himself to his younger days? *faint. saying wad, he's not scared to fight the youngsters these days, & that he was a "educated bad guy", etc etc etc. Aiyo! Crazy fellow. Anyways, there was a terrible jam along the roads down to MOS yst. Ended up paying cab fare more than usual. Bleah =P

Tuition this afternoon was great. Budden 3 hours seem too long for me. By the 2nd hour of teaching, I was already having wad felt lyk a sore thraoat. Think 2 hours will b jus fine? hahas. Although I dread having to make my way down to the tuition centre every Sunday, I realise that actually I do enjoy teaching. Can remember that my ambition was to be a teacher when I was young. hahas. Will have my own imaginary students & mark "their" homework, write on the whiteboard, etc. Gone were those days. Those innocent days. Come to think of it, childhood was fun! =)

Talking about ambition... From the first ambition I envisioned, I think I am rather fickle minded. hahas. or probably it's due to the economy, & that people's perspective of things DO change along with the time. hees. Wanted to be so many things - teacher, forensic pathologist, psychologist, lawyer, hotel manager, etc etc etc. Currently working towards the goal of being a tai tai, can idle around & go 4 spas, high tea, etc? hahas. jkg larss. I aim to be successful in the banking & finance world after I graduate from Uni. How exciting it will be! I'm actually anticipating adult life, where I can really rake in money to support the kind of lifestyle I want. And yes, I hope to be financially independent. Tai tais are in danger of dying if their husbands decide to get rid of them - how can they survive in this harsh world after being dependent on their husbands for so long? Therefore, bottom linei s to always make plans for the future. Hee hee hee.

Uni's starting on 6 August (Mon) for my course - Business in NTU's Nanyang Business School (NBS). Hees. well, pretty excited, & hope everything turns out well for me I hope! =P Actual orientation starting on 2 or 3 August. Hahas. NBS starting school the latest, among the other schools in NTU. Cool. means i get to enjoy a lil more? hees.

shall update more when I have inspiration soon yea =P

Cheers,
Jerica =D




"Love puts a smile on everything"

It's Wednesday! My final theory test is in another 3 days' time. Saturday. Hope I can pass successfully & go on to learn driving ah! hahas. Actually I think I would prefer being driven around though. Budden I reckon I will want my own car in the future, so yes! Need to learn! Hahas. I was very much intrigued by Boon Hao & Chee Wei. Cool yea. Miss the days when I could go for spins in *his car. Budden, it’s okay! I’ll drive myself around. Hees.

Lotsa random thoughts come to me spontaneously recently; almost everywhere I go. Aww shucks! And how I love the sunset that I see when I’m on TPE! =P Very very nice! And I hope I can go to the clouds one day. The silver lining as what they call it. +Melts+

Gave my mummy her pocket money today. Hahas. Jkg. Gave her some allowance, since I’m working now. Think I skipped a number of months already leh. Bad gurl. Argh. Feel very bad. So I decided to give her more this time round. She didn’t say Thank you leh. Hahas. Much as I like to feel appreciated, I thought it would be weird if she says thank you to me. Lol. Afterall, my mummy was there with me throughout my growth & development. Hees. It’s only right that I provide for her. I hope I can rake in big bucks in the future; or rather, be bestowed with a blessed life & have enough to support my lifestyle + my family. I’m excited for what the future holds for me! Muahahs~

Mmmmm. Recently I feel like I’m being treated like a toy. Being toyed. No, not really toyed.. budden I seem to feel like an abandoned toy. (Hur?) hahas. Erms. Like, when someone needs you, they talk to u so nicely, start contacting you after being MIA (missing in action) for dunno-hw-long, etc. Yucks. Dun lyk being treated lyk dis. Even at my workplace also lyk dat lor! Omg. *faints. One of the managers so super disgusting. After I helped her finish one of her assignments (her dept was shorthanded), she did not talk to me. Then when she needed my help again, she spoke to me in such a mushy tone. Omg!!!!!!!!! My goosebumps literally reacted instantaneously la! So disgusting. Eeks. Cannot stand it. Hahas. But I guess that’s how things are in our society? I mean, there are many people around who are like this ba. When they need you, they contact u. Else they can’t b bothered. Even I myself am quite guilty of behaving lyk dis at times. Budden. I try not to la, definitely. Hahs.

Meeting up with Kareen in town later. Yay! =P can go shopping again. Hahs. Here's an amazing fact about Jerica - She shops, but she can’t shop at Bugis, Far East cos she’ll get lost. Can only shop at departmental stores (because they are DEPARTMENTED & more organized). And she shops only when she's in the mood for it. Not only when it's GSS. Hees. I’m pretty fascinated with some of my frens who r able to navigate their way ard Bugis, etc. Lol. Budden come to think of it, Aiya, it’s nt entirely cos of the organization (the various departments) la. It’s bcos of the environment & the shopping crowd I guess?

Have always loved shopping for shoes – heels in particular. Hahas. And now, I’m so hooked up on handbags! Lol. Guess handbags. Hee. I love Guess (I guess? Hahas. How corny.). Fine brand with trendy designs (more suited to the younger crowd). Mmm… Kareen told me just yst dat she’s bought the back bag from Guess which we saw on Sun! omg! Envy Kareen la. Her daddy gave her $1,000 to spend for GSS! So cool ryte. Hahas. So that tym I asked her if her daddy intending to have god daughter or not, since Kareen is her parents’ only child. Lol. Muahahs. Was jus joking though.

Alryte! Run outta things to blog dy. Shall update again soon! =P bleah - - - - - -

A girl and a guy were speeding over 100mph on a deserted road on a motorcycle.

Girl: Slow down, we're going too fast. I'm scared! And I don't want anything to happen.

Guy: Come on, don't worry. I know what I'm doing. You're having fun right?

Girl: NO...please stop. I'm really scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I LOVE YOU! Now please slow down.

Guy: Give me a hug.

*Girl hugs him*

Guy: Can you help me out here? Will you take my Helmet off me and put it on you? It's bugging me.

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In the papers the next day: A motorcycle has crashed into a building due to break failure. Two people were found, but only one of them managed to survive.

The Truth is: Halfway down the road, the guy realized that his breaks could not be engaged, but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead, he had her to say she loved him and felt her hug him for one last time. Then he had her wear his helmet so that she could live, even though it meant that he would die...

I'm wasn't too sure why, but sadness did overwhelm me when I read this story... Did you feel sad for this couple too? Did you feel guilty at the way you are treating your partner?

Of course, loving a person does not mean you have to die for that him/her. Loving a person means you give the best of everything for him/her, & thank God that once in your lifetime, your paths crossed, & that both of you gave each other special memories, isn't it?

Nahs, actually nothing much in particular, cos I gather I could just go on & on about my inner thoughts. In any case, just wanted to share this story & hope that everyone else who comes across this entry will learn to treat love with equal respect & not view it s a tool 4 satisfy ur physical pleasures. This further reinforces my previous entry on "Love. Sex. Lust." (See below)


"It's not that I don't want to love; It's because I'm afraid to love."

Jerica's back! =P =P =P

Been so busy with work that I hadn't had the tym 2 blog. oh man. Reports reports & more reports. Weekly reports, monthly reports. Reports for internal review, reports for the corporate side over in the US. Aiyo! Thur actually had to work Overtime (OT) to complete the reports, as my IS (Immediate Supervisor) actually estimated that I wouldn't be able to clear it by Thur alone, since she was away for external training of sorts. How wrong she was! I managed to rush out the report (piping hot) & allow her to check through before I knocked off on Thur (meaning, before 6pm). Haas. So in the end, it was NO OT for Jerica. Cool isn't it? Because if I had to work OT, I wun be able to take my dinner, sicne there were no canteens that were still in operation after 6pm. Bleah- (Jerica can't live without her meals! lol. Unless she's terribly sick.) Haas.

Managed to successfully complete/ make some amendments to the reports by Friday before I knock off. Phew! Can finally slack a little & enjoy life. Hees! Clubbed last night @ Phuture, tgt with Kareen, Jiali, Karen, KF. Hahas. Marc, CH & Benj were there too. Enjoyed myself dancing, but would have enjoyed myself more if there weren't so many people - the people were all packed like sardine! Spoil mood; total turn off. And it doesn't help matters given that you have to keep giving way to "passers-by" (yes, literally...) at the only spot you finally found that is spacious (or be-fitting) enough for dancing.... *faints-

Went for supper at BK (acronym for Boon Keng). Actually didn't wanna eat, but in the end... I had prata! lol. Spize is still the best. Haas. =P Left in cab with KF & Marc at around 6+ (in the morning, yes), since Kareen stayed just across the street. hahas. WAnted to chip in for the cab fare as well bt KF didn't wanna keep it. Doh. Why is it that guys do not want to keep gurl's money?? Somebody please explain~~~~~~

Anyways, enjoyed myself last nyte; but in retrospect, it could haf been much better if Jay's there wif KF... Cos lyk, ask him to come down bt felt pretty awkward speaking to him in the clubs? So in the end he was lyk pretty much alone (at least in the beginning la). yup yup. If Jay was able to make it down with him, I thought his night wud haf been better. Feel bad. Oh God.

In any case, I think I'm letting go. I think I have to. I don't want to end up getting hurt anymore. It's so tiring to put in everything for somebody; only to realise that somebody doesn't appreciate you at all. Or at least, doesn't let you know. I'm feeling lost; I'm caught in a dilemma. Much as I want to continue holding on to that little faith I have, I think his gestures are sending me a signal to let go. Probably it's the lady's fatal Archille's Heels that is making me feel this way (which is jealousy & over-sensitivity if you dun already noe...), but I just thought he appreciates my fren more. Somehow, the signals coming my way from him are that of "bad bad", "let go let go", "both of u r jus frens; nothing more"... The fact that he fluctuates between warm & cold in his reactions to me leaves me lost & puzzled. I dunno what he's thinking, & I am feeling scared. That's how I behave. If I don't know what you are thinking, I will back off. Yes, I AM AFRAID OF REJECTION; I AM SO AFRAID OF GETTING BURNT - ALL OVER AGAIN. Past failed relationships have left me with indelible scars. Battered. Hurt. Inflicted with pschological pains. And yes, I particularly hate ambiguous relationships. It's lyk, U dunno what you exactly are in his heart & where u stand so u dun wanna put in ur everything. Argh. I hate this feeling. Hope it goes away soon (& I know it's the hormones playing inside - Mood swings) =SSSSSSS

Now I'm standing at the intersection. Lost. Guide me back please...........

"Have you ever wondered which hurts the most: saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing, and wishing you had?"