How many times have you wanted to hold on to a moment, but realised it's gone; that it's no longer possible for things to be the same again?

Some things, once gone, you can no longer get them back...

Complete hearts, once broken, can never be healed.

Relationships that once made you so complete, once destroyed, or even slightly tainted, can never be as before.

Yes, you may pack up your feelings, move on and get a life, believing in the hope that better things will come your way, but chances are, your days ahead will never be like the ones you had.

Random thoughts from me, blah blah blah.

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Oh no no no, some shyt happened to me again. This time, my confidence is veritably totally gone. I've come to the realisation that sometimes, the more you try to salvage something, the worse it gets; but whoever taught me not to give up easily? The more i covet and yearn for something, the worse the outcomes turn out. It's bad; it's detestable; i abhor all these stuffs that are happening to me.

One of my close friends share my deepest secret; a few of them know about my predicament, but how many actually understand how i'm feeling right now? [In any case, I'm glad that u were there to share my woes, to cheer me up. Thanks! (You know who you are!)]

It sucks when you're stuck at home the whole weekend, when you had initially planned to meet up with your friends. Yes, close friends at that! Grrr. I dunno, but much as I had wanted to get out, i'm (kinda) glad that i was forced to stay home - gives me time to do my much-catching-up-needed school stuffs.

Anyway, in recent times, I don't even want to step out of my house. Geez, i can' imagine myself living the life of a recluse. Aww. (*pushes that thought away) Mum has been supportive of me and been saying nice things to me, but it doesn't help my condition. Anyways, under no choice, I had to step out of my house today, and I can't help but feel worse than before. It doesn't help matters that your own brother tells you "Stay at home; don't go out."

Ouch.

I'm leading my life in pain right now. It hurts so badly I wish I could turn back time. I want to live a normal life like anybody else; i don't want to cry myself to sleep; i don't want to live in the dark; i want to lift my head up high...

Can you hear what i'm not shouting from within?