If I should ever die or disappear from you one day, will you shed a tear for me? Will you remember me? The smiles on my face, the jokes that I crack, the sorrows contained deep within, the achivements that I have, the care & concern showered upon you? Who on this earth will care?

Disappointment. It all boils down to expectations. Maybe I have expected too much. Under-achievement. Terrible thoughts been surging; on the uprisings recently. Was just pondering over if people will remember the things I've done for them, especially if I had gone the extra mile just for them. Will my friends/family ever appreciate what I've done?

Much as I tell myself not to expect any rewards (a simple Thank You isn't too much to ask for, or is it?), I can't help but feel that I have been taken for granted recently. Actually, all i ever asked for was a simple "Thank you" but why is it that in our society, such gratituity is so scarce for us to see? Had some issues over this, & am grappling with coming to terms with it. Guess I really have to learn to just "heck care". Push those nasty thoughts aside - but it's not very healthy isn't it?

Talked to my mummy about it. Was told, "only closer frens who are already very used to u will skip these formalities. If they thank you for this or that, am sure you will feel weird also, no?" Well, I think the answer is a no-no. "Thank-you"s are my staple phrases, and I make an effort to thank those who have helped me. And I make my appreciation known. I mean, I say thank you, and i mean it. Some people say it, yet do not mean it, while others do not say at all. As such, sometimes i feel under-appreciated. Lyk, they do not care about my existence, & that my company is not important.

It's especially sad to know that those closest to your heart are the ones who make you feel unappreciated. It hurts.

Ouch.